Why God? It is enough...very odd experience. Did it help? a little bit...but then it turned sour as practically always in the natural...was some here to hold my hand not at all but they chose another...why im like I am...it demands what is most avoided and all want the other...it demands a deeper reach...but the natural I seen they don't ... and what is seen is done and I always will know whether in wishing or actual they cant escape...they despise that of the gift of honesty...but really to reach a better level I guess its the road in all areas less traveled...they chose that void among others in the same like, now...at least they are other that different now...Honesty is the key of seeing Life as God intended not man ...yes this is the way it is not that way...its not all it is cracked up to be...I feel as though Im spied on at all time in this realm and I am ... look I don't care you wont find nothing but quit taking my energy purposely and draining for yourself to give to another ... never do that it just isn't good ...and the soul before you seek that out no devices at all...just Like He created it and be pure in mind heart and soul for the best ... cause when It is not it spreads to other way which birth pain upon pain and suffering upon suffering...not glee for it is appears it is always only in the beginning but branching out or one found in a very vulnerable situation and taken advantage of evil upon evil...and I see now...words are strong to some of the evil but not the hurt and vulnerable...it is such a position to be in...for ONLY my eyes and understanding has been opened and so much sorrows upon others I see is far greater than I ever realized ...but mind was in the psychological I knew it and then I would only know it later but it was years upon years...but When God plans something and prepared something as so I was willing and I obeyed the voice that guided me...but They Crucified His plan again Not I it was Him because He couldn't get the depth God was reaching from their Light to the their greatest Darknesses in Both ... and Now it rest and is in a coffin as I saw ... but Im free and I know why everything I am and him I did...but the pureness of mind and honesty of catching thoughts and lies not wanting me to know scared them ... I am at peace ... God can only Revive it in His Time...
as I feel I am finally being revived back again for I served the great bizarre deep purpose...yeah it is the level of intimacy that forces them to be honest...otherwise it is called out and why...in my case I may not see it but I will draw it...because my subconscious picks it up and will manifest it...the whys of the soul that is vexed in all ways...like now I see what is going on in the new ways...do I want to see it no...but there lies is made know and the very reason why...but there is no real love as Christ shows ... and now all they what was meant for me cant be there ...and they still live below their place because they cant believe ...so they search what they but they cant find it anywhere and it had to die ...but I carried it all these years ...and though they looked at thousands upon thousands of minds his was looked at for the very first time and save and prepared ... and the honesty didn't sit well with them...so they wanted to kill it...for it scared the life out of them...and anger and all came for the troop of Angels reported all and poured from both intents...I still don't see it all but others say there is far more in there than that...I'm like really...but anyway I had been laughed at by such types more than once and God was wroth so wroth...and the more it went the more it poured as He showed me...I would rather be hurt by people in the world than this...yes I was being seduced after ... and lied to ... but Jesus showed me it all tonight ...the key was given to all but the lock it was meant...but now I have a key of light to use properly and vexed with mischief and deceit as a Judas ... but Jesus I saw tonight put me on His shoulder and said Let me take and protect you from all that...see I am responsible for the vessel purposed for to be void...and their acts is my sin as well...its bad b/c they get the reward and I'm left drained in a pool of deception...and a hope is turned to nothing ... But Jesus showed me enough more than I wanted to know...but I had to know...because of their choices and how they really wanted to hurt me at times...results of the evils plaguing them...yes I see now they knew better but it was like God after all this THIS!? ...so I have a new key to use properly just learning to turn it right to unlock all is destined in the future...Im fine but what couldn't have been as I realize as I was telling another because they repined ... is now in frustration and anger for they could not overcome the demise of their mind...so in a way it could maybe not ... the lapse of time...Honest never as this ...but be it perfect...as was given last night
II Corinthians 4:2-4
But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. (Word of God was not at all in this manner to me I am merely expressing how He is Speaking to Me through this Ordeal not all shown was posted...but it is good) 3 But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost: 4 In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.
I Corinthians 4:3-5 (this was added tonight...yeah I have been up didn't even know it is this early, unbelievable, I konw I cant I must go...Jesus will give strength)
3 But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged of you, or of man's judgment: yea, I judge not mine own self. 4 For I know nothing by myself; yet am I not hereby justified: but he that judgeth me is the Lord. 5 Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God.
